392-Rearing

In his/her article “”Is Raising Your Child to be Gender Neutral Possible?” Associated Content contributor WS writes a brief analysis on two texts examining the possibility of raising gender-neutral children. The first is “An Unconventional Family,” in which Sandra Lipstiz Bem highlights two steps needed to successfully raise a gender-neutral child:

1) The first step is to inform the child about biological differences in gender without teaching them stereotypes associated with them

2) The second step is to teach the child to be skeptical of any cultural messages or stereotypes they are exposed to in the media or in everyday life
The idea is to “provide the child with a critical lens that would predispose them to ‘read’ the culture’s conventional messages in an unconventional way” (WS). I like this method because rather than shielding the child from media—limiting what they can watch and read, whom they can talk to—you provide them with the tools they need to view the world with their own critical eye.

In the second article examined, “Family Structures and Gender Personality: Chodorow, Familism, and Pyschoanalytic Sociology Revisited” Denise Segura and Jennifer Pierce assert that rearing children to be gender-neutral is nearly impossible. Some cultures promote community child-rearing and place emphasis on communitarian rather than individualistic goals. In this case, it seems that employing a “critical lens” while examining cultural messages would be, well, detrimental to the culture. A society such as this requires a certain amount of solidarity and conformity among its members to function appropriately, which leaves little room for the individuality that Bem feels is so important.

The author of this article poses some interesting questions at the end in response to what Bem, Segura, and Price have said. Author WS asserts that we should worry not about raising gender-neutral children, but rather try to raise children with gender-appreciate values. He/she writes “we know that there are distinct differences between men and women; there are some things that women are better at than men and vice versa” (WS). But this claim comes from someone who has (likely) been socialized in a gender-biased society, like most of us are. Are there really distinct differences in the capabilities of men and women? I don’t think so. I think that these “differences” can be overcome by a little psychological overhaul.

There are certainly biological and hormonal differences that make women good with fine motor skills and men good with heavy lifting, but that does not mean that these differences cannot be overcome. It’s an age-old argument, but a good one I believe—we all have certain natural advantages regardless of gender that put us on an uneven playing field, not to mention circumstances that we share with many other people, both men and women. This is not to say that men are incapable of dancing ballet and women of carpentry; just that traditionally we have lent ourselves to these roles. Once we detach ourselves from these traditional obligations, there should be no reason that we cannot do anything.

If we were to raise our children to “appreciate gender differences,” we would, I believe, would be emphasizing the differences and giving people an excuse to blame gender for their shortcomings. I think the better practice is Bem’s, at least for our society, in which children are taught to be skeptical of cultural messages. Using this method we create a society of individuals taught to question and think for themselves, rather than a society that just accepts the stereotypes.


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